Never wink at your mother in law
An apochryphal tale?
Who is going to believe me when I say that shortly after the birth of our first son we went to stay with my wifes parents near Christmas. ( I know, thats not very unusual) Ten or so of us went out for a perfectly respctable Saturday night at the village Fishermans Christmas Ball, we had a few drinks and the party finished late. We all went home to the in-laws house, a night cap or two and then to bed.
At around 5 am I heard the phone ringing, "s'funny, don't remember there being a phone in my room!" leant out of bed, picked it up and had a short chat with my mother-in-laws' father who's health was declining and who's ability to tell the time had shall we say diminished!
" Ron". I said," we'll call you back in the morning!" "Was that my father?" came a voice from the dark, "yes, I said you'd call him back in the morning". We all snuggled down and drifted back off to sleep.
Meanwhile my wife had woken to feed our first born, that's strange she thought, where's Mark gone? She checked the kitchen-maybe he's gone for a midnight snack, the sofa's in the lounge-maybe a midnight ramble or late night TV- no sign of the husband so she was becoming rather worried. She looked out the window to the beach- he could have done a Reggie Perrin!
Roaming the house at 5 am she heard the phone go and with some relief recognised the voice answering as mine. Only one problem, there was no phone in our bedroom!
The door caves in, the light goes on and she shouts..."M-What (th-f) are you doing in there?"
Me: "whassup? mmm- back to sleep zzz"
Mrs M "Should you really be sleeping with my mother?"
Me "WTF....."
Father in Law- "Whass-goin-on?" from the same bed the other side of me and the other side of the mother in law....
Mother in law- "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? (yawn scratch sniff)
Me- "Could you get me a towel?
Mrs M and Mother In Law "You're naked - Yeuch! Get out of there...."
Now the moral of this tale is always try out the mother ... no the moral of this tale is if under the influence of pop at bedtime always empty bladder before going to bed and always lock door and hide key so that you cannot go roaming. Also ensure always wear PJ's at mother in laws house.
Never wink at the mother in law at the breakfast table!
There got that off my chest.
Who is going to believe me when I say that shortly after the birth of our first son we went to stay with my wifes parents near Christmas. ( I know, thats not very unusual) Ten or so of us went out for a perfectly respctable Saturday night at the village Fishermans Christmas Ball, we had a few drinks and the party finished late. We all went home to the in-laws house, a night cap or two and then to bed.
At around 5 am I heard the phone ringing, "s'funny, don't remember there being a phone in my room!" leant out of bed, picked it up and had a short chat with my mother-in-laws' father who's health was declining and who's ability to tell the time had shall we say diminished!
" Ron". I said," we'll call you back in the morning!" "Was that my father?" came a voice from the dark, "yes, I said you'd call him back in the morning". We all snuggled down and drifted back off to sleep.
Meanwhile my wife had woken to feed our first born, that's strange she thought, where's Mark gone? She checked the kitchen-maybe he's gone for a midnight snack, the sofa's in the lounge-maybe a midnight ramble or late night TV- no sign of the husband so she was becoming rather worried. She looked out the window to the beach- he could have done a Reggie Perrin!
Roaming the house at 5 am she heard the phone go and with some relief recognised the voice answering as mine. Only one problem, there was no phone in our bedroom!
The door caves in, the light goes on and she shouts..."M-What (th-f) are you doing in there?"
Me: "whassup? mmm- back to sleep zzz"
Mrs M "Should you really be sleeping with my mother?"
Me "WTF....."
Father in Law- "Whass-goin-on?" from the same bed the other side of me and the other side of the mother in law....
Mother in law- "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? (yawn scratch sniff)
Me- "Could you get me a towel?
Mrs M and Mother In Law "You're naked - Yeuch! Get out of there...."
Now the moral of this tale is always try out the mother ... no the moral of this tale is if under the influence of pop at bedtime always empty bladder before going to bed and always lock door and hide key so that you cannot go roaming. Also ensure always wear PJ's at mother in laws house.
Never wink at the mother in law at the breakfast table!
There got that off my chest.
posted by Toomuchgrief at 4:40 AM
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